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Wednesday
Dec062006

Jesus Camp

Jesus Camp is a documentary concerning religion, specifically Christianity. Not just any category; absolute, ape-shit crazy, radicalism. A strange fringe group, a small fraction of a wast religious whole, right? Or so one would think. I don't assume most people live their lives after an incredibly strict religious doctrine but a surprising amount of Americans believe in some pretty fucking stupid things. Having faith in God, or some other higher all-knowing creator is one thing. I happen not to share this belief and I'll challenge yours in a debate. But if you feel that way, fine. However, believing that angels fly around every day and stir shit up and help people is so dumb I think I lost a few clusters of neurons just thinking about it. Invisible supernatural beings are watching over you, in particular? That is the height of hubris. Not only that, but it shows what you must think of other people who get into bad shit. I guess that little girl who got leukemia didn't pray enough, tough luck bitch. That uncle you had who got cancer/heart disease/into a car crash and died? Yeah, God didn't love him anymore. If Jesus were real he'd be weeping. We obviously didn't get the message he was nailed to a tree for. More people in America believe in angels than evolution. Jesus Camp is a documentary so disturbing in its unrelenting exposition of crazy and warped religion I literally became scared. More so than any horror movies have made me in a long time. These people don't believe in evolution, sure, one would expect that. But global warming? Now they're just looking for some science to fuck with. What's next? Gravity? Jesus never really talks about it in the bible, it must be a abortionist-gaymaffia-scientist-liberal-Jesushating-communist conspiracy behind all of that. Designed to discredit Jesus' flying up into heaven at the end of the second act in the new testament. Isaac Newton should have been burned at the stake. Here's another thought for you, all Christians who renounce the theory of evolution shouldn't get vaccinations when the next influenza epidemic hits. And it will, sooner or later. I'm not talking about the ordinary "stay home from work a few days"-kind. I'm talking about the Spanish flu type, the one that turns your insides into liquid shit. If God changed the influenza strains just to mess with us, I'm sure he will protect those who pray hard enough.
Sunday
Dec032006

Dave Foley + Craig Ferguson = Sploodge!

I've been a huge fan of Dave Foley ever since NewsRadio. The little known, underappreciated, incredible sitcom that deserves cult status. Since it didn't get appreciated enough when it was on. Who was on the show a part from Dave you ask? Well how about Stephen Root, Maura Tierney and Phil Hartman? And yeah, Andy Dick. But that was before he fully evolved into his grating, annoying self. I promise. Another comedian I have a form of mancrush on is Craig Ferguson. Best known for his role as Drew Carey's boss Mr. Wick on The Drew Carey Show. This ofcourse only showed of a small part of his range. Don't believe me? Check out The Big Tease and Saving Grace, both awesomely funny movies. In a very british sort of way. When I heard he'd be the new host for The Late Late Show I had my doubts. Sure he'd be better than Craig Kilborn. The man that gets handed awesome show after awesome show and consistently underwhelms on every front. A sidenote; many people don't seem to know that Kilborn was the original host for The Daily Show, which he managed to drain the funny out of. Thankfully Jon Stewart steered that ship into the sun when Kilborn left for the future failure that was his version of The Late Late Show. Back to the subject. Ferguson as the new host of The Late Late Show seemed to be a strange fit. I had never seen any of Ferguson's standup so I had no idea of the man's incredible ability to improvise himself into any situation and out of any tight spot. Add his comedic timing and weird impersonations in the short skits he does and you've got the funniest late night talk show ever. Maybe not the classiest, but who the hell cares? Oh yeah, I wanted to point you towards this video.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeOuQhCqvIg]

Dave and Craig in an "interview".

Saturday
Dec022006

Axl, saving the "e" for "douche bag"

It may be known to some out there that Eagles of Death Metal have been dropped, or dropped out of (depending on who you listen to) the latest Guns n' Roses tour. You know the one, for that album. Chinese Democracy I think it's called. I can't really remember anymore. The thing has been in production since before I hit puberty. Honestly. That thing will probably be out just in time for an actual Chinese democracy. I don't want to take sides here without all the information available, but Axl Rose is a huge piece of shit. I think pretty much everybody who listens to music knows this. Even people who are just into avant garde jazzfusion. The only fans he still have left are about as shitty as he is. Any album that takes this long to produce ought to be pretty fucking awesome right? Wrong. The leaked tracks that showed up on the internet a couple of months ago told a whole other story. Let me paint you a picture. If I ground up a Monster Magnet album, ate it and let it work itself down inside my body, destroying all tissue in its path, then when time came squatted over a microphone and bricked right on it. It would still sound better. Pure musical genius! You have to wonder about Axl Rose's fans as well. I mean, according to some people (among them Jesse Hughes) they booed and threw stuff at the Suicide Girls when they were up on stage. Given that their stage performance may be lacking. But it's hot naked women, jumping around to music. You'd have to be a whole new level of repressed homosexual to not enjoy that. "Put those awesome tits away! I want Axl Rose's cock in my face!" More on this stuff here and here.

So to sum things up: Axl RoseJesse “The Devil” Hughes

"Disappointment from Axl is Like Being Knighted." -Dave Grohl

Friday
Dec012006

This week in TV.

I'm a huge TV person. Not so much that I actually follow the shows on TV. Also I'm not a huge fatass, well maybe I'm a little chubby arond the belly... Anyway. I download alot of shows. I pay my license fee damnit (a cost every swede with a TV has) and I see it as a free pass for downloading every show that's aired on Swedish TV, regardless of country of origin. This is ofcourse more a philosophic approach than a legal one, as it's probably illegal. Episodes are normally held back for months from their American airings before they get broadcast here in Sweden. This is ofcourse for various different reasons. The major one seems to be the inefficient distribution deals and set-ups various channels and production companies have with their overseas partners. As well as the buyers wanting to get the shows for a cheaper cost. Hell, who's going to do anything about it? It's not like the viewers can get their content from somewhere else right? Turns out they can. From a little thing called the Internet. Sometimes shows are captured and released by various groups on the internet well before they air on the west coast, which is 3 hours behind the east coast, obviously. How is it that a relatively small network of nerds with home electronics can do something major companies seem unwilling or unable to do? Sure they save a little money in the short term by withholding content for periods of time, but in the long run people will find other avenues of distribution. This ofcourse doesn't mean that the companies have to lose money. The could set up alternative revenue streams. So far this hasn't happened. Not in any big way. Sure iTunes and Google Video are offering downloads of shows and other video content. But the pricing is as with the music way too high. 99 cents per song is in my view about double of what the sweet spot would be. A downloaded album shouldn't cost more than 1/3 of any full price CD. What would be the point if I have to pay 2/3 of full price and then not get something I can actually misplace? Multiply this pricing problem a couple of times and you have the TV section. With prices for a new season ranging from somewhere around $34.99 to $39.99 that's about twice of what I'm willing to pay. And thus ends this episode of Ranting Theatre. Tune in next week when I take on mashed potatoes.