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Entries in Nature (2)


Accessorize, exercise, jizz.

Sex as a subject has become rather pathetic, to be frank. The myth that those who sleep with a lot of random people are really confident is complete and utter horse shit. In my experience men and women who behave in this way are in fact incredibly insecure. Constantly seeking confirmation and reassurance that they are as beautiful as they have convinced themselves. Is that acting secure? Turning sex into some sort of power game or just immediate gratification drains it of all passion. I don't want sex to just be pieces of meat flapping against one another. Marinated in alcohol and anxiety. People shouldn't be picked up like accessories. You are not the centre of the cosmos. Your fleeting happiness is not the answer to the mysteries of life. Get over yourself. And the two of you clumsily jamming your genitals together on your room mates well-worn old couch is not passionate and sexy. No matter how many times you repeat this lie to yourself in an attempt to maintain that  hard on/stay wet. I gave up one night stands some time ago. At first it wasn't a moral choice or even one that came out of any deeper introspection. It was just a path taken out of a practical nature. People in general are absolutely terrible at fucking. Just awful. The quality was never as good as with someone I got a little bit familiar with. People who have such low self-esteem that they pathologically need to swallow another human beings bodily fluids every weekend tend to not have been in many meaningful relationships of any greater lengths. Therefore they have, out of a strictly numerical standpoint, fucked far fewer times. Practice makes perfect. There appears to be a tipping point where the quality of the bedroom shenanigans and the quantity of sexual partners converge and then invert. Both in a grander scheme and in specific situations. Taking pride in appearing sexually attractive to people who will fuck just about anything is like being proud that you are Garry Glitter's search engine of choice. It's at best quite meaningless, at worst loathsome. Tickling the fancy of someone you find to be truly unique. Having them share their innermost contrivances. Being able to disappoint in a painful way. That is sexy. That is beautiful. Poking someone in the groin while trying to refrain from spewing because of the motion and too much tequila is not. Unknown people are not. Acting tough will never be.


One has to be amazed by the ignorance of people sometimes. Global warming is just the latest in a long line of arrogant ideas concocted by us humans. The sheer hubris that mankind, annoying as we may be, could ever "destroy" nature is so laughable as to be utterly absurd. I believe one of the main reasons for this irrational idea, or fear if you're a proper idiot, is that modern day people have no concept of what nature actually is. Granted that people in Ye Olde Times had little to no grasp of the cosmos, they at least had some fundamental understanding of how the fauna directly surrounding them functioned. Even though it seemed awfully scary. Probably because it is. People these days get their imagery and mental picture of nature from Disney films, it seems. Where animals and plants have the characteristics of humans and live happily together, in peace, smiling and singing forever and ever. The end. Poppycock! Animals fight all the time, in fact, that's most of what they do. Every single day of their lives. They have to fight for territory, food, not to become food, for mating rights. In fact, for everything. Because you see, nature doesn't dole out good tidings and fortunes like some benevolent mother figure as filthy hippies would have you believe. Nature will kick your ass. Or it would, back in the day. Before us humans became all uppity and decided to not be completely subject to nature's hardships. Yes, we do have some control of our environment. And we have done some damage, a hell of a lot. But in the great scheme of things we are but a pimple on the face of nature. And not even a very bad case of pubescent acne at that. This shit will clear up as soon as nature decides to wash a bit more and stay of sweets for a while. Debates over whether of not predators such as wolves and bears are too dangerous and should be destroyed makes me laugh. Are people really that stupid? Are we really such big pussies? Honestly? It's as if we want a clinically sterile, prepackaged, controlled, safety tested form of nature. Where only friendly animals such as, I don't know, fluffy little bunnies exist. That's not nature, that's a fucking park you morons. Get your heads out of your asses, your asses out of your office chairs and out into the woods and have a look around. On second thought, don't. People know nothing of "the country" and will end up getting killed by a rogue magpie or something. Then we'd have to kill all of them as well. Have a happy new year. May your days be filled with satisfying random encounters and positive meals that taste quite nice. I'm modest in my well-wishings these days. As not to put too much pressure on're welcome!