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Entries in Neighbour (2)

Friday
Mar132009

There cums the neighbourhood.

The other night me and the girlfriend were reliving shared but separate childhood memories by re-watching The Neverending Story. It was a spur of the moment type thing, so we got started rather late. As we were approaching the half-way mark we found ourselves getting the mid-night giggles. That stage of tiredness when everything seems rather funny. We were chatting in hushed and clipped tones and having a laugh at how poorly some of the elements in the movie had aged. During this most pleasant of times we get interrupted by a loud banging on the wall followed by an equally loud yet muffled voice. - "I'm actually trying to sleep!" Or something to that effect came pouring through the wall we share with this apparently grumpy denizen. Most rude. That I had been forced to overhear said person have loud and obnoxious mid-day sex just a few days prior is of no concern. Apparently. Clamorous Afternoon Boinking - Perfectly acceptable. Average Nightly Conversation - Horrendous. We weren't having a rip-roaring booming time, with rowdy cheers and boisterous applauds. The volume was in every respect, reasonable. A bit too reasonable even. Had it sounded like twenty-odd burly men performing heavy construction in the middle of an ongoing party as a gaggle of geese were set ablaze for the party crowd's amusement I should think my keen and sharp neighbour would have hesitated before bothering me with information on his sleeping habits. The silly git. The addition of the word "actually" in his improvised and analog cross-domicile radio theatre opens up a whole other level of  possible interpretation. Did he actually expect us to know that his and our headboards were adjacent? What then must be his point with such rambunctious three o'clock sex? I dare not speculate any further into such perverted goings-on that must be...going on. I quite often over-complicate things. He's probably just a self-centered asshole. Which is an interesting idea, in and off itself.
Friday
Mar212008

The Enthralling Poo Experience

A few of my neighbours are music students. Nothing wrong with that, they're usually pretty laid back people. Sometimes however they make me wish I was deaf. It's not that they're untalented and play their instruments poorly, in fact I consider some of them to be quite skilled. I do however find that they choose rather inappropriate moments to enrich my daily life with their art. My most recent encounter with their musical musings came while on the toilet. I don't want to hear a beautiful flute solo coming through the air vent when I'm taking a shit. This is not supposed to be a delightful moment for me. My asshole is being stretched out. This is not the time to get whimsical. I half expect an enchanting little pixie to come frolicking into the bathroom, tossing around pixie dust and inviting me to come along to his magical kingdom. As soon as I've wiped. Hey, I'm a polite guy. Always wanting to put my best foot forward.