Sexually Transmitted Vengeance.

Finally, we have our revenge.* Nobody messes with humans. Especially not our junk. When we were asleep, in the jungle. And in no way molesting monkeys of any sort. So you hear that you damn dirty apes? We're coming to get ya! It is only a matter of time before we perfect the virus. Don't try and disguise yourselves by wearing hats and monocles, as amusing as that may be. We can tell one bipedal primate from another. Most of the time. Unless they're some kind of minority or something. *It is commonly believed that humans originally contracted HIV from monkeys. How is yet unknown, but sources inside of my head tell me that it happened through inappropriate sexual contact.

A Grande Gesture, please.

Take a gander at this ad from Starbucks. I think it's just swell! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkC5qYH0ln0] So you're telling me that 5 cents from every espresso-latte-truffle-mocha-thingy is going towards some sort of charitable AIDS-related action? Holy jumpin' coffee bean Batman, that's like 2% of every order! Rather than acting like human beings the people at Starbucks, like every other corporation it would seem, manage to morph charity into commerce. Brilliant. Instead of just buying more of the produce (which the company's very existence depends upon) at reasonable and fair prices, they're going to perform a public relations stunt. Another alternative would be to just give AIDS foundations in Africa a lump sum of money, but would that get the same amount of media exposure? I would applaud their impressive dedication to callousness if only my hands weren't angrily clutching and shaking my keyboard. Underpaying poor farmers in the third world. Overcharging the working class in the first. No java in either world is as dark as their souls.